Love, one-way

It was an awakening of my soul
and for that tiny moment I felt whole.
For you I would have caught the sky
and held it close just for you and I.
A moment gone, a moment past.
A moment never meant to last.
But how it changed me, looking now
at the person looking back and how
I am not who I used to be.
Though who that is I cannot see.
I now know the agony of a broken heart -
the pain of love that wouldn't start.
Some would say that I am better off
because I loved even though I lost.
Whether they are right I cannot say
because my love has always been one-way.

Frozen Chance

The sky was cruel, boasting its gray.
Yet a determined hope held to a single ray
so brilliant and it drew me in.
I watched the light dissolve the gray,
yet back to me it found its way
and burrowed beneath my frozen skin
fooled my soul to be taken in
and believe the night was day.

The rain was wiser, reluctant to fall.
Aware that I was no match at all.
But spare me it would not comply,
and drenched my spirit with its relentless wet cry.
I shivered with instinct that I would later recall
were tears yet unborn of this frosted lie.

Every moment a flurry of romance.
The stars asked my soul to dance
and with no regard for cirumstance
I stayed and took a chance.

The wind blew truth that would not relent,
each biting gust that came and went
became another whisper to resent.
Like enemies with nothing to lose,
the wind will wait while it makes you choose.
Despite that your fate has already been sold.
This is how truth retains its control,
because sooner or later we all flee from the cold.

A fire in the bitter cold
is a lesson learned from someone old.

The savage cold but laughed like a child.
Delightfully watching me struggle, it smiled
and escorted the moment as it arrived -
to decide which part of my soul will survive.
Though cold I was complete for the very first time
but I knew our destinites were not aligned.
The choice was no longer one I could withhold
So I turned away and sold my soul.

The choice endures for others to make,
and all who yet haven't will feel their heart break.
A frozen eternity is borrowed from fate,
whose gift is a moment before dreams evaporate.

Missed

Not a sliver of fair

Not that anyone would care
Because even though I exist
I am so easily missed
A speck of beauty cannot be found
And no lips utter a single sound
Of the tiniest compliment
My life came and so quickly there it went.

end me

I just want someone to care.
to look at me, not stare
to acknowledge that I am there
to want to breathe my air
and fuck my ass bare
make me cum and actually care
to not be with me on a dare
to always win when I'm compared.

touching me not as politeness requires
sucking my dick from your burning desire
see me as something you've never seen prior
deaf to the whispers of those who conspire
tell me your truths and reject every liar
see me as real, as one you admire
I bring a completeness you long to acquire
With me alone you find the peace i inspire
and i take you somewhere you couldn't be higher.

But you don't exist i've come to see
that no one desires these things from me.
So perhaps i should stop wasting energy
perpetuating a ridiculous fantasy
that very likely will never be.
instead why not use the time constructively
and find a simple way to end me.

Bold

Spoke clever words when the room was filled.
Heard my words and they were thrilled.
Reached the other side and didn't fall
when i walked the rope for one more call.

They say success belongs to me.
cause I chased shadows I thought were free.
Dug in the ground these hands of mine.
Can't stop now when it's almost mine
some days dirty, some days clean
fooled them all even me it seems.
Fought and cried and pushed my soul
so sure the answers were in that goal.

more than a few dollars in the vault
things go wrong it's someone else's fault.
and though i rarely miss a meal
So hungry that I'd kill and steal
if it meant that i would get to you.
i could get there if i only knew

where to go
wish i could know
who you are
cause you can't be far
and different as i might possibly be
it makes no sense that them and me
aren't brothers enough the same
somebody's gotta call my name.

yeah i sound good on the microphone
look good when the spotlights shone
i can be so very bold
but tomorrow i'm just another day old
and i just want someone to hold.
I just want someone to hold.

all i got to say

What if I told you how I feel?
Does that leave me with any appeal?
See I know this has to be real -
But can I to you my thoughts reveal?
Or would that mean my fate is sealed?

Cause I can't stop thinking about you.
Can't stop thinking about all you do.
Wanting so much for you to feel it too.
And I can't accept that this is through.
Cause what I feel for you is true.

I know you moved on, got your own man
My heart is trying but it don't understand.
Cause you are my total attention span
and truth is I don't have no plan.
all I wanna do is hold your hand.

I figured it out. See it's all so clear.
I know I lie and try to appear
that I don't wanna hold you near
every second of every month and year.
And that losing you is what I most fear.

It's really all I got to say.
I love you in every way.
I love you tomorrow and today.
I love you near or far away.
Yeah that's all I got to say.

The Lie

Someone for everyone, that's what is said.
We learn and want to believe
because the story masks the dread
of a life meant only to grieve.

The hands of fate could be so cruel.
We'd rather not admit.
Ignore the truth, remain a fool -
a lie we just permit.

Nothing just exists in life.
but one that's most unfair,
is that one can endure such strife
without a soul to care.

Alone is fear, alone means tears.
Alone for all the toxic years.
I watch my friends as each they find
a soul that loves as if assigned.
But I find no such peace of mind.
Worthless flesh, I'm left behind.

Once I believed the evil lie
that love was kind and even I
would find someone who would love me
if I just waited patiently.
But I am tired of this blind belief.
It brings me not a speck of relief
as years roll by and steal my youth
and laugh at me and my silly truth.

The hands of fate are cruel and they
have made me but a joke to play.
Teasing me with wide-eyed dreams.
Love withheld from me it seems.

No one ever could it explain
why love never calls my name.
I can but guess as I look down
that no one falls in love with a clown.

But ringing in my head
as alone I lay in my bed.
I hear that lie so clear:
someone for everyone I hear.
and i say loudly as i spit
what a load of fucking bullshit.